hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
