your thong is hanging out like whoa
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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