dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
