I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
