3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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