Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
