I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
