if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I have feelings that need drinking.
my poor anus
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
