Kiss
Puke
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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