No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
