so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
