Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
When did angry sex become our thing?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
