You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
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This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
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Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize