My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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