..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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