Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
