just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
