the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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