physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
