OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Sober January is a disaster.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
