she was so not down for the gang bang
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Help me help you realize you are a moron
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
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