it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
