If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I need moral support for this bender
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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