She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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