i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
