Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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