yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
