I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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