i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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