i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
