i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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