so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
