Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
