Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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