There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
