My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
