So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
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