Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
