I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
