i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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