I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize