wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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