Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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