You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
