I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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