I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
