Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
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how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
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Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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