Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
