Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
