The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
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