You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
