I just threw up on my dentist
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
