Me too!
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
