They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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