Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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