You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
