I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
