upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize