The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
