im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize