i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
